Date: 8th August 2018 at 5:39am
Written by:

Written by AlGard

This is the only preseason guide you need.
Stuff the Guardian, Shove the Daily Mail, Ignore the Independent.

ARSENAL: The dynasty is over. History, as a rule, says that after a long reign of “The King”, years of a struggle ensue. Take Man Utd for instance.
Would love to play the Arsenal early on before all the players bed into the new routine. Sadly, we don’t play them till late November, when they should be sorted.
Points off them: 1
Position: 6th

BRIGHTON: Begrudge all you like. They did nowt wrong last season. I expect them to be the same this season. Kind of safe, in the same way, we were the 2nd season.
Points off them: 4
Position: 16th.

BURNLEY: “Didn’t they do well” as Brucie used to say. They won’t have a season like last year. They had a decent early fixture list that we have this time. They started off well, and it went on a roll.
It won’t happen this year.
Points off them: 3
Position. 17th.

CARDIFF: I don’t think they have invested enough to upgrade to this league again. You would have thought they would have learnt after the first failure.
Points off them: 4
Position: 20th.

CRYSTAL PALACE: If Saha goes, they will lose 10 goals in penalties. I hate them and am sure you do. They have not got it this year.
Points off them: 4
Position: 18th.

CHELSEA: It’s got to be better than last season. If it isn’t, the manager will be sacked by November.
Points off them 1
Position: 7th.

EVERTON: They really don’t get the way things are done. Supporters think they are brilliant, but we all see averageness.
Points off them: 3
Position: 9th.

FULHAM: They reminded me of us when we went up. Attacking, on the front foot, with players that can score one more than you. Entertaining side.
Points off them: 3
Position: 13th.

HUDDERSFIELD: I am sure we won’t be as poor against them as we were at their place last season. Don’t think they will cut it this time.
Points off them: 4
Position. 19th.

LEICESTER: We are sure of 2 points against them. Something says we are their measure in all departments. Still, love the fact they fecked the normal routine over.
Points off them: 2
Position: 10th.

LIVERPOOL: Most expensive goalkeeper/defender/burger salesperson. Still not good enough to win it. The city of Liverpool.. never the kings…for 30 years now.
Points off them: 1
Position: 2nd.

MAN CITY: 19 points to spare. They don’t need to prove to us how good they are. It’s what the PL has paid for.
Points off them: 0
Position: 1st.

MAN UTD: All seems wrong with them. And the “Chosen one” will not see the season out. All the headlines this year will be on these failures.
Points off them: 3
Position: 3rd..

NEWCASTLE: Great support. Poor team. They all believe they are better than they really are. “Toon Army” Pretty rubbish to be fair.
Points off them: 4
Position: 15th.

SOUTHAMPTON: I believe we will finish above them again. Dour, un-entertaining crud. That improves the last few games when they are desperate.
Points off them: 4
Position: 14th

TOTTENHAM: Always the bridesmaids. So much promise, but so little final push. Kane will be gone after this season. But to be fair, we all like watching them.
Points off them: 1
Position: 4th

WATFORD: They always do enough. And will do again. Could you buy a season ticket for these guys?
Points off them: 2
Position: 12th.

WEST HAM: OK. They have spent a bit. It might work. It might not. They might surprise.
Points off them: 3
Position: 5th (Yep, a real surprise. Don’t want to be boring)

WOLVES: Big money, big signings, big ambition. They might surprise a few.
Points off them: 3
Position: 11th.

AFCB: Ignore the preseason. Eddie Howe and his doubleheader friendlies. We looked good against Marseille, and don’t dismiss that.
There are a couple more signings coming in hopefully. We should be very steady this season if the defence holds up.
8th at best with 49 ish points.

And there will be no cup run.


Your say…

BillMcgarrycherry wrote…

Not bad that Al, some good angles. Think you got West Ham wrong though..I say 4th! Cardiff too …15 th/16th. Newcastle 17th or 18th and Saints down and maybe near misses for Everton and Leicester! Think Palace will be top 10.
Top 10 for us and Liverpool to win it. City 2nd but Euro winners!. If Mourinho goes in November standby for a Shock move for Eddie or Dyche if us or Burnley in top 10 ! – Join the conversation, click here.

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